Loving The Alien

This can be read properly formatted at my Science Fiction blog, found here.

So, this slightly edited conversation happened last night:

Kristi: Ciggy Man throws a hissy fit between the 2nd and 3rd seasons of X-Files and it made me think of you. 

Boom: Wait… Someone throwing a hissy fit reminds you of me? 

Kristi: Yes. When he gets mad at Mulder and send in helicopters and marines with flame throwers and is just spending money willy nilly.  

Boom: Ohhhhh! I get it! Ciggy spending shit tons of money, and putting our great nation further into debt? 

Kristi: Yup.

Boom: He’s why we can’t have universal healthcare. … I could do a post about that… The Cancer Man’s Conspiracy to Stop Universal Healthcare. 

 


My friend are amazing, aren’t they? They not only indulge my frankly delusional practices of assuming Science Fiction shows are real, but encourage further delusions. Now we know that Mulder’s constant use of taxpayers’ money is a symptom of a disease for more cynical and expansive. He’s just one part of the Cancer Man’s plan.

Kristi: ~.~ Stupid girl scouts. tempting with their cookies. >.> you should tie them in and claim that as they cause the obesity epidemic Ciggy keeps national healthcare from treating people. 

Boom: Wait… this conspiracy is HUGE! The Girl Scouts and the Cigarette Man? 

Kristi: Yup. ~.~ He probably forces them to chain smoke too…thus upping lung cancer incidents. It’s a cycle. 

Boom: A vicious one at that. 

Kristi: Yup. Or he just sends in his flame-throwing marines if they don’t make their cookie quotas.

Kristi is right. The Cancer Man isn’t trying to hide aliens. He’s just a really dedicated Republican.

This is why we can’t have health care. True story.